Tucson Interviewed: A Can of Four Loko (found along the side of the road)

I’m a man.  A man who enjoys walking the streets at night, just like the protagonist of a classic rock ballad might.  I walk the streets in shadow looking for the light of:

• Love
• A liquor store sign
• The hardware store (because all of the lightbulbs in my home are burned out)
• The dark

So I walk and I walk, with my headphones on, listening to other tales of small-town heroes strolling down darkened sidewalks, and I wonder when Bruce or Bob or Tom or Woody will sing about my trials and tribulations.  Normally I keep to myself, even when the voices in the dark cry out to e.  “You should be in bed sleeping,” I think to myself as I dismiss them, “not crying out at night—don’t you know that other people are trying to sleep?”

But on this particular night, I heard a voice I could not ignore, and dear readers, it is a voice you will not ignore, either (unless you aren’t a reader and are already ignoring this entire premise).  Tucson Interviewed, this is A Can of Four Loko (found along the side of the road) interviewed...
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Fourco

Catfish:  Do I call you “Four Loko”?  What should I call you?

Can of Four Loko:  Fourco


C:  Fourco.  Okay.

F:  With a “C” because loco is spelled wrong.

C:  I assumed that was done on purpose, but--

F:  I don’t like it.

C:  Okay, “Fourco” with a “C”.  F-O-U-R?

F:  F-O-U-R-C-O.  Fourco.

C:  It sounds like a business.  Four Co.  The Four Company.

F:  I like it.

C:  Tell me, Fourco, how long have you been in Tucson?